Forbidden Love, Forbidden Lies, and Forbidden Crimes

forbidden_liesYesterday I was watching a so called “documentary” on MBC4 that carried the name “Forbidden Lies” in what seemed to be a reply on the book “Forbidden Love” written by the Jordanian-American author “Norma Khoury”, after watching the documentary – which evoked my curiosity – I found myself getting the book and reading it.

The book was written in English, the documentary was in English and all the articles that are related to the whole story were in English and that’s why I am writing in English, maybe so I’d correct the image of the Arab society in some readers’ minds, who were more than “500,000”, if they get to read this after reading the book.

forbiddenloveThe whole book was talking about the story of a girl called Dalya who was killed brutally by her father stabbing her 12 times in an “Honor Crime”. The book showed the Jordanian society as a primitive society that actually treats women as another piece of furniture. Women in Jordan according to the writer are not allowed to go out by themselves but to be escorted by one of their relatives… etc. of the other types of taking away women’s rights.

The Dalya story was about a Muslim girl, who was the writer’s friend, that fell in love with a Christian guy who works in the army, they had to meet secretly every Friday to make sure that her brother wont see them. The “love story” ended by her father killing her by stabbing her taking in mind, according to the writer, that “she didn’t do any thing wrong but loving him…and died as a virgin”.

I am not here to show all the Lies that were written in the book because they were clear to everyone that got to watch the documentary.

“Here is the link if anyone did not get to see it… http://www.youtube.com/view_play_list?p=27216E0A5D38BF3F

I just would like to add that this writer talking about a society of a Muslim majority by showing how primitive people are there was what made her book published and get that famous at the first place. We have heard enough about “Women’s Rights” and how women are supposed to get their full rights in such societies showing that they don’t. I am not saying that women in our societies are being treated the way they should be. Women’s rights are centered on being treated the way they should be, with respect. They are not at all about the right of assaulting the Islamic religion and traditions. Our Arabic traditions have some pros and cons and that’s why i said “Islamic” because there is nothing about taking women’ rights away from them in our religion, so what we are supposed to do is fighting those cons as much as we can but still without assaulting our religious teachings.

In Islam no Muslim woman is allowed to get married to a non-Muslim guy. It’s our faith and we shouldn’t be fought in the name of “Women’s Right” to change one of our religion teachings. It’s not a case of falling in love and that love was forbidden. Everyone has the right to love and be loved. Human instincts cant’s be fought. And here i am not justifying a crime – which never happened. I am just saying that for this reason the writer chose her characters as Muslim girl and Christian guy.

Women have the right to be educated as same as men, they have the right to work and be effective in the society. They have the right to go out and have fun. They have the right to exercise their hobbies and favorite sport. But again without assaulting the religious beliefs and teachings. And most important of all “THEY HAVE THE RIGHT TO BE RESPECTED”.

Those are the rights we should make sure women get. And women should fight to get them. But the sad thing is that our minds in are being manipulated by all means by showing us that women’s rights are by being away and sometimes disobeying our religion.

I have written an article about a two months ago in Arabic under the name of “شرف” which means “honor” in english that talked about “Honor Crimes”.

We can’t deny that “Crimes in the name of Honor” is a shameful phenomenon in our society. There is no “honor” in crime. Killing is killing and killers must be punished with no mercy.

Those who talk about “Honor Crimes” usually talk about “The Jordanian Pedal Codes” and to be specific titles number 98 and 340. Yesterday I have reviewed those titles.

“ The Pedal Code, Num. 16 , Chapter 3, Part 1, Title 98 :

Benefit from the mitigating excuse the perpetrator of the crime who committed it in the fury caused by an unlawful and dangerous act by the victim.”

“ The Pedal Code, Num. 16 , Chapter 8, Part 1, Title 340 :

1- Benefit from the mitigating excuse, anyone who surprised his wife or his female kin in an act of adultery with another person and killed, cut or harm her or him or both.
2- Benefit the perpetrator to kill or injure or abuse from the mitigating excuse if he catches his wife or one of his ascendants or descendants or sisters with another on  an illegal bed.”

Last time i checked “adultery” was forbidden by all religions.

I am not giving an excuse to killers but logically if we were to give excuses they were be given to  those people that were stated in the previous laws “ONLY”. Now the real problem is that the law is being practiced in a wrong way totally by both people and judges. what really happens is that killers use these laws to justify their crimes. It seems to be that anyone who kills one of their relatives they use those laws in their arguments at trials. Fury status can’t be for long hours, days or even week. And actually if the one did not witness the act of adultery they shouldn’t be given reduced penalties – BY LAW. so how come most “Honor Crimes Criminals” get them?

That is the real problem we are facing.

We can’t just give the “Green Light” to every guy to every guy to kill a female and then blame it on the Honor.

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Filed under Amman, Fazlakat, Jordan, قضايا شعبية, مقالات, الاردن

11 responses to “Forbidden Love, Forbidden Lies, and Forbidden Crimes

  1. Bayan D.J

    Let me just start by saying that in my opinion the book’s aim was nothing but money & disfiguring the image of Islam and the societies in this region. Even though the author kept on denying benefiting a single dime from the book throughout the documentary and that her only goal from writing it was to tell the story of “Dalia” -whom no records were found of her death, the killing, or even the place that she was killed in- it was obvious that most if not all of what she wrote was a lie, I’m not talking about the lies of the places like the Jordan river passing through Amman or any other lies of such, I’m talking here about the lies concerning the crime itself, the people mentioned, and also to the way females are treated around here. So if everything that was written was false, what’s the aim of the book but the reasons mentioned above?!l
    Who is she to write of a society she hasn’t been living in since she was a child?! Who is she to condemn a whole country based on the propaganda she had seen from her side of the world! Her changing to the story every 3 minutes shows how incoherent everything she wrote about was. At her book as this article shows, she said that “Dalia” died a virgin; however at some point of the documentary she says that her friend was 4 months pregnant of Michael’s child, as I recall, so if this Dalia figure got pregnant without even getting married does not that count as adultery?l
    I am not denying the fact that “honor killings” exist, and that as you said in your article the laws are being applied in the wrong ways, but that is what we should fight for, we should fight for the laws to be applied on the right kind of people in the right kind of way. We are not supposed to fight a religion, a belief, a country, a whole society… we should be fighting the wrong acts in this society.
    thank you for such good writings 🙂

    • True … only greed was behind it all.
      and well i wasn’t writing to prove the book wrong. because the documentary did that really well.
      “No fire … no smoke” means that despite all the lies… there is a small piece of truth beneath it. Something should be done just so others wont find a way to disfigure us and that is not by fighting them… but by fixing ourselves first. Laws have been put to be obeyed and applied on all by the same way… by not respecting OUR laws how do we expect others to respect us.
      anyways… thank you for passing by and for the awesome comment you’ve posted. 🙂

  2. I watched th documentary yesterday and I was shocked
    I heard about the book, and the lies in it but never thought it was up to that degree

    What I liked the most about this documentary, that they put all points of view,however, it seemed that the main aim of this documentary was to show that the writer was innocent , but offered all points of view, and I think that the director changed her point of view at the end.

    I can’t add more that what u wrote
    Thanks Ahmad

    • well, yeah exactly the director was there to show how the whole book was based on a true story! but when she found out the truth… she changed even the name of the documentary!
      Thank you whisper for passing by 🙂

  3. i really hate such things, i am not talking about the documentary itself- i didn’t watch it yet, but i think i got a good understanding of what i expect to see in it , what i am talking about is that character of the writer, such people who got “brain-washed” with the ideology of “human rights” come first , and Islamic tradition is not more than “old fashioned” stuff, unfortunately such people need to review their concepts and think twice before write such things! ,

  4. التنبيهات: Forbidden Love, Forbidden Lies, and Forbidden Crimes « Fazlakat …

  5. Omar

    Honestly speaking, I think your article is as bad as the book itself, for anyone who has the brain of a 5-year old, it’s crystal clear that Nourma Khoury is a con artist, everything she did and everything she wrote had the sole purpose of getting money, but for whoever’s sake, stop this victory-like kind of articles like yours, nourma being a lier does not mean what she wrote doesn’t happen on a wide scale in our societies, not because a lot of girls live a somewhat ok life in Jordan it means that A LOT of others do! Females are being oppressed and systematically abused on a large scale in Muslim countries, their basic rights are hijacked by the very basic teachings of Islam, from inheritance, to travelling, to clothes, to actions, to court witnessing, to touching, to smelling, to even fixing their eye brows! Just cut the crap about respect, if you’re a believer, then just have the guts to say it like it is, Islam oppresses females, we think it’s right, because we believe this is coming from god, like it or not, stop the sickening and disgusting act of denial trying to drive others to believe that Islam is great, at least not when it comes to females!

    • unfortunately, you know nothing about Islam, and you are “stereotyping” what you see to all Muslim teachings, there is huge difference between Islamic teaching and Arabic culture, please , please don’t mix between both , Islam never oppresses females! and sadly saying you misunderstood the whole concept

  6. Omar

    I was born, raised, and lived most of my life in Jordan, within an average conservative Muslim family, I grew up in mosques and among scholars, and I have spent more than 10 years of my life studying Islam in passion, unfortunately, it is you who is misconceived to believe that Islam is fair to females only by listening to friday preaches and being subjected to a massive petroleum propaganda machine running 24/7 on Arabic channels, I invite you to take a few hours away from the inner resistance you have automatically against anyone who criticizes what you grew up to believe is flawless and untouchable facts, and go read the original authentic books and the life of Muhammad from the real sources that you all the Muslim scholars agreed they are the “sources” of the teachings.

    Contrary to what you say, the traditions of Arabs in the Mediterranean region is far from the traditions of those of Islam, which are the traditions of inner Arab peninsula inhabitants, those who inhabited the region of Jordan, Palestine, Lebanon and Syria along with North Africa possessed a much more liberal and civilized traditions than the invaders that came from Hijaz, regardless of what I say, I know it is one of the hardest things any human can do, that is, grow away from the basic beliefs he has, nevertheless, if you have such a great faith, go ahead and read about female teachings in Islam all by yourself and judge for starters.

  7. Dahab

    Let’s talk seriously on this issue, the people mixed between their Arabic traditions and their religious believes, all the religious forbidden the adultery, I am sure and our islam give the women their right in everything but with a limit, and this is how it should be. But we cannot forget that the people mixed between the traditions and the God rules. Adultery is not an enough reason for anyone to take a person life, and when Islam put the punishment on adultery he equaled between male and female, why the man has the right to kill his wife daughter and sister pretending the honor, and the woman cannot do the same. Why the man has the right to protect his family name and the woman cannot, sometime men can humiliate his family and his religion. For God seek, do not play the God part or the law part. Let the punishment comes from the right authority for both man and woman.

    “ولكم في القصاص حياة يااولي الالباب” قال الله تعالى:
    قال الله تعالى: {إنَّا أنزلنا التَّوراة فيها هُدىً ونورٌ يَحكُمُ بها النَّبيُّون الَّذين أَسلَموا للَّذين هادوا والرَّبَّانيُّونَ والأحبارُ بما اسْتُحْفِظُوا من كتابِ الله وكانوا عليه شُهَداءَ فلا تَخْشَوا النَّاس واخشونِ ولا تشتروا بآياتي ثمناً قليلاً ومن لم يَحْكُمْ بما أَنْزَلَ الله فأولئك همُ الكافرون(44) وكَتَبنا عليهم فيها أنَّ النَّفسَ بالنَّفسِ والعينَ بالعينِ والأنفَ بالأنفِ والأُذُنَ بالأُذُنِ والسِّنَّ بالسِّنِّ والجروحَ قصاصٌ فمن تَصدَّقَ به فهو كفَّارةٌ له ومن لم يحْكُم بما أنزَلَ الله فأولئك هم الظَّالمون(45) وَقَفَّينا على آثارِهِم بعيسى ابن مريم مُصَدِّقاً لِمَا بين يديه من التَّوراة وآتيناه الإنجيل فيه هُدىً ونورٌ ومصدِّقاً لما بين يديه من التَّوراةِ وهدىً ومَوعِظَةً للمتَّقين(46) وَلْيَحْكُم أهلُ الإنجيل بما أَنزَل الله فيه ومن لم يحكم بما أَنزلَ الله فأولئك همُ الفاسقون(47) وأنزلنا إليك الكتاب بالحقِّ مُصَدِّقاً لما بين يَدَيه من الكتاب ومُهَيْمِناً عليه فاحكم بينهم بما أنزلَ الله ولا تتَّبِعْ أهواءَهُمْ عمَّا جاءكَ من الحقِّ لكلٍّ جعلنا منكم شِرْعةً ومِنْهَاجاً ولو شاء الله لجعلكم أمَّةً واحدةً ولكنْ لِيبلُوَكُم في ما آتاكُم فاستَبِقُوا الخيراتِ إلى الله مرجِعُكُم جميعاً فينبِّئُكُم بما كنتم فيه تختلفون(48)}
    والذين لا يدعون مع الله الها آخر ولا يقتلون النفس التي حرم الله الا بالحق ولا يزنون ومن يفعل ذلك يلق اثاما يضاعف له العذاب يوم القيامة ويخلد فيه مهانا الا من تاب وآمن وعمل صالحا فأولئك يبدل الله سيئاتهم حسنات وكان الله غفورا رحيما ”

    ويقول الرسول صلى الله عليه وسلم : ” العينان تزنينان وزناهما النظر ”

    ويقول الامام الشافعي في قصيدة جميلة ورائعة :

    عفوا تعف نسائكم في المحرم … وتجنبوا ما لايليق بمسلم ( بضم العين وتشديد الفاء مع الضم في عفوا )

    من يزن يزن به ولو بجداره … ان كنت ياهذا لبيبا فافهم ( يزن الاولى بفتح الياء ويزن الثانية بضم الياء وتسكين حرف الزاي وفتح النون )

    ان الزنا دين فان اقرضته … كان المدين من اهل بيتك فاعلم

    من يزن بثلاثة الاف درهم … يزن به ولو بربع الدرهم

    فاجتنبوا المحرمات حتى لاتقودكم الى المهلكات ومن هنا اوصي الاخوة بالتوبة من كل ذنب وكثرة الاستغفار

    فان اليوم يوم الجمعة هناك ساعة فيه مجابة لعلنا نلحق بها

    جزاكم الله خير

  8. انسان عاقل

    ok i watched that movie twice and if i could say my opinion in one word i would only say “”LIE” she keeps talking about the poor life of muslem girls as if we were living in a jail cell ,all she was thinking about is money ang getting her 15 miniutes of fam .
    we dont live like that she has petrade each and every arab female she is triying to act like a f…… victem and shes not why and she just want to scath the buitefull image of our relegion and country.
    she was completly contracting her self, one time she says that the names and place in the book are real and
    then she says she had to chang them to protect every thing she loved !!!!!! and what gives her the right to minipulate the lives of wemon in jordan or any other arab country in that matter
    all i can say thea that book is a waste of paper and ink and every one who read it wasted a big porsion of there lives

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